The Only One
by CaptainFrosty
Summary: Just a little humour drabble, showing what ships other than Captain Swan would be like if they were true. Pro-Captain Swan and pretty much anti-Every other ship with Killian. Sorry.


**Just something I thought up because I was really bored and shipping Captain Swan - These are just mini-scenes with ships like Sleeping Captain, Captain Charming, Hookfire, etc. They are mainly anti the ship, but I tried to make it amusing for you all. Please don't kill me if you ship anyone in here! The first one is Captain Swan, by the way.**

* * *

Killian gave a soft rumble as he scooped Emma into his arms, planting a rather loud kiss on her lips. The blonde tried to muffle the little squeal that tried to fight it's way out of her pressed lips, so it came out a bit more of a low grumble, but the dark-haired male merely chuckled ad curled her tighter. " My love... " He murmured, nuzzling his nose into her hair, and the Saviour gave a gentle smile in return, giving up fighting against his strong arms.

* * *

Killian gave a soft rumble as he scopped Aurora into his arms, and tried to plant a loud kiss on her lips, but the woman's head had rolled back, hanging down limply with her light brown hair tumblig down her back. The male gave a frown, and leaned forward again, but the movement made her head roll to the other side. He moved his body back in annoyance, then sighed, putting the unconscious woman onto the ground. " Bloody curses. " He grumbled, shaking his head as he wondered how on earth he is going to live with loving a constantly-sleeping princess.

* * *

Charming gave a soft sigh as he pressed his body to Killian's, tucking his head into the crook of his shoulder. The pirate in turn just stared down at the prince, azure eyes wide in what could only be described as horror. " Um, David? Mate? " He asked, voice shaky with a bit of fear, but Charming had fallen asleep with his arms over the dark-haired male's leather-covered torso. He began trying to poke the sleeping blonde in hopes to wake him up, but he had quickly fallen into a deep slumber. Killian gave a sigh, and began trying to wiggle his way out, then quickly found that Charming was clutching him rather tightly. " Seven hells. "

* * *

Killian moved to envelop Baelfire in a wide hug, and the other male thought nothing of it - A hug between two old friends. But the pirate began hugging him for a couple of minutes too long, and the younger man began to squirm. " Um, Killian? " He mumbled, and the pirate began hugging him tighter. " Yes, my love? " Baelfire gulped at that statement, trying to wiggle his way out of the predicament. " What are you doing? "  
" Loving you... "  
" But I don't- "  
" ...Whether you like it or not. "  
" Oh. "  
" My princess. "

* * *

" Oh, Ruby, my love. " Killian purred as he curled his body to Ruby's, covering her with his leather coat. " Killian, I- " The werewolf tried to gently interrupt him, but he just shushed her, nuzzling his nose into her neck. Ruby enjoyed it for a moment, before realising she needed to get her red hood. _Now_. " Killian, look at the moon. "  
" I know - Isn't it beautiful? Just like you, my darling. "  
" It's full. "  
" Is it? Because it looks like a bit of it is chipped off just there... "  
" Trust me, it's full. "  
" Well, just the better for us then. "  
" Killian. I don't have my hood. "  
" P-Pardon? " Killian's stuttered word was met with an animalistic growl, and the only sound that echoed through the night was the pirate's screams of torture.

* * *

" Oh, my darling. " Killian cooed, folding his arms around Regina, who went completely stiff. " Don't hug me. " She snarled, and the pirate immediately dropped his arms to his sides, watching her with a mixture of love, adoration and a touch of confusion. " Sweetheart? " He said in a manner of question, and she shook her head. " Don't call me pet names. " The male clamped his jaw shut. She moved her hand and gently pushed on his chest, making him stumble back in worry and confusion. " Regina? "  
" What? " She snapped, annoyed.  
" I love you. "  
" Whatever. "

* * *

" Hook. "  
" Yes, Blue? "  
" I am in love with you. "  
" W-What?! " Killian spun on his heeled boot, staring at the fairy in complete and utter shock. That was his mistake, however, for she was suddenly in front of him and puckering her lips for a kiss. " Um, Blue... "  
" Mmhmm? "  
" I don't love you. "  
Blue's eyes snapped open, and she frowned. " Well, we'll have to fix that little problem, won't we? " She shot him a sickly sweet smile, and the pirate blinked. The small woman waved her wand, and Killian blinked a couple of times, a fog covering his eyes. His gaze fixed on the woman, and he grinned. " My darling. "  
" That's better. "

* * *

" Belle, my sweetheart. " Killian announced from behind the front door of Gold's shop, calling through the wood. " I love you so much. "  
Belle gave a loud scoff. " You have to be joking! You tried to kill me! "  
" I didn't mean it, lass! Just open up, let me show you how much I love you! "  
" - Twice! You tried to kill me twice, you rotten pirate! "  
" Only rotten with love for you, my sweetheart. You are my sun, my moon, my world! "  
" You're such a cliche, cruel, mean, rotten, horrible pirate! "  
" And I love you! "  
" Oh my god... " Belle sighed.

* * *

" I love you. "  
" Hook... "  
" Jefferson. I _love_ you. "  
" Darling, I'm not ready for this. Please, I just... " The Mad Hatter pleaded, and the pirate shot him an adoring look. " We can be together. _Forever_. "  
" But I don't - "  
" Please. "  
" Fine... " Jefferson gave a heavy sigh, then tossed the hat to the ground, jumping into the portal to Wonderland with the pirate by his side.  
It was only when it was too late, and that the hat was destroyed long ago, that it was found that Hook may not have been the only Mad man there.  
That's what loving the Mad Hatter did to you.

* * *

" You are my one and only. "  
" Crocodile, you are really beginning to creep me out. More than normal, of course. "  
Rumplestiltskin threw his head back in a hearty laugh. " Oh Killian, you are so funny! We are made for each other, you know that... "  
" Actually, no, I don't... "  
" Love me. "  
" I don't- "  
" LOVE ME. "  
" No. "  
" Well, I'll have to teach you to love me then... "  
" Oh, gods... No. NO. NOOOOOO! " Killian's long scream could be heard from miles around as he was dragged away by the in-love Dark One.


End file.
